The Travel Buddha
It was the first time I even considered debating Hampton Inn vs Baymont. On a recent road trip stopover, I rolled the dice and decided to try a Wyndham Baymont instead of my go-to, Hampton Inn. The two hotels were within one mile of each other, but I opted for the Baymont since we had our dog with us and Baymont’s pet fee was substantially lower than Hampton’s.
A Change of Plans
I’m loyal to the brands I like, and I am a big fan of Hilton’s Hampton Inn, so staying at Wyndham’s Baymont felt kind of creepy and taboo. I felt like I was sneaking around behind my wife’s back with some two-bit floozy. Was I letting my inner cheapskate take over? I mean, in the 100+ Hampton Inn stays I’ve had, they’ve offered a consistently decent experience and a good value. I like the free breakfasts, comfy beds, and even the lame signage in the elevator with the dog’s ears flapping in the wind. Hampton succeeds at what it does. It’s the Toyota Camry of hotels.
My Top Sunny-Travel Gear of 2024! (#commissionsearned)
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Geez. This is starting to sound like the script for a Hilton infomercial and I’m not even getting anything from Hilton for writing this (though I wouldn’t turn away a weeklong stay at the Ho’olei at Grand Wailea resort in Maui this coming fall since that works best for my schedule). I write this in the spirit of passing on a good thing to those who may not have previously stayed at a Hampton Inn. Afterall, it’s good to try new things. Wait, no, maybe it’s not.
A Night at Baymont It Is
So, after confirming the 4-star average review for the location, I moved forward with reckless abandon, and booked a night at the Baymont (online), effectively realizing a savings of $52 USD. We went and had dinner at a local restaurant, then headed to the hotel. I pulled into a sizeable parking space in the hotel parking lot and put the car in park. Everyone started gathering their bags for the night and I surveyed the hotel as I gathered mine. The exterior of the building was nothing fancy, but nothing shabby either. Okay. Good deal. This is going to be good. I locked the car door, picked up my bag and we headed for the lobby.
I led the way through the first set of vestibule doors, taking note of a placard on the wall indicating that this was a franchised location, then moved forward through the main lobby doors. I scanned the lobby and could immediately feel the searing heat of laser beams emitting from my wife’s eyes penetrating into the back of my skull. I didn’t dare turn around. Feigning confidence, I moved forward to the front desk.
The Lobby
Apparently, Wyndham affords their franchises some creative liberty with the hotel decor. My first impression was that this franchise owner maximized their creative diversity in both random home furnishings and garage sale art. How lovely! There walls were adorned with decorative elements that managed to equally defy time, style, and taste.
Have you ever felt that icky pity feeling for someone? The feeling that you don’t want be rude because the person seems nice enough, but the booger hanging out of their nose is nasty and you just want to get away. That’s how I felt. The lack of continuity in decor is something that (as I would soon learn) also traversed into the hotel’s operations department.
Okay. It’s fine. It’s just different from what you’re used to. Be fair, give it a try. It’s only one night. All lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. I was telling myself these things to rid myself of the guilt and shame I felt. If the shower in our hotel room wasn’t so gross, I would have curled up in the fetal position, crying, as the shower water rained down upon me. Yeah. The hotel room was gross too.
The Room
The room was musty with a gentle waft of pine cleaner (that was likely last used months ago). The furnishings were even more tired than I was. The carpets were badly stained. There were broken tiles in the bathroom. To top it all off, the bedding was obviously not washed. Oh, joy! My wife pretty much hated me at this point and the teenagers were even beginning to revolt.
Okay, I can fix this. We’re leaving. I’ll book a room at the Hampton and never deviate again! I can fix this. I grabbed my phone and tried to reserve a room on the Hilton app. No rooms were available. It was already after 8PM, and at least a 30 minute drive to the next available hotel. Everyone was too tired. It’s not going to happen. We’re were stuck in the stinky bowels of a Baymont in nowhere USA.
After complaining and getting new bedding. I flopped down on one of the beds, completely defeated. I had such a good thing going with Hampton, but I had to run around like a crazy person with this low-class tramp of a hotel. I’m such a fool! Well, perhaps some TV would be my redemption. I popped the tube on and began my escape from the cruel reality I had found myself in. Ten minutes into Impractical Jokers, the screen flickered then dimmed to black, as did any hopes of my redemption.
Hampton Inn vs Baymont? Ha. Ha ha. Hahahahahahahaha!
The best thing about staying at that Baymont was leaving. If you even have the question of Hampton Inn vs Baymont in your head, just stop. Have you ever heard of Dante’s Inferno? The tale describes the nine circles of hell, each circle more hellish than the first. If you multiplied the degree of hellishness in the worst circle of hell that Dante describes by 1000, it is still more appealing (and likely cleaner) than that shitty Baymont. Never again.
Hampton Inn Wins
Anywho… That Baymont stay pretty much solidified my loyalty to the Hampton Inn brand. Hampton Inn would never do me wrong (well, just once when they ran out of the free warm chocolate chip cookies in the lobby). It’s not a 5-star resort, but Hampton Inn is clean, consistent, and they give you waffles and silly coffee cups with mustaches on them.